#1

don't ask for easy life. instead, ask for more strength. just so you'll be strong enough to get through the life's scenario that Allah has written for you. for if you're strong, you'll be able to enjoy and cherish every single moment. 

hujan dan kabar gembira

baru jam 8 malam ketika aku sampai di rumah. aku langsung masuk ke kamar dan kutemui ada beberapa pesan yang muncul di layar komputerku yang kubiarkan menyala selama aku pergi tadi. ada sebuah pesan dari seorang teman lama, dari sejak 4 jam yang lalu. karena kulihat dia masih online, maka kubalas pesan itu. kami pun berbincang, hangat dan akrab. dia menyampaikan kabar gembira.

perasaan hangat langsung menyergap saya. hujan deras dan petir di luar ditambah angin sejuk dari AC kamar tidak lagi terasa mencekam. bahagia. terharu.

yang barusan berbincang denganku adalah teman SMP. memberi kabar bahwa dia akan menikah beberapa bulan lagi, dengan gadis yang adalah temanku di SMA. lalu ingatanku melayang ke beberapa tahun sebelum mereka jadi pasangan. 

yang lelaki sungguh gigih, berbagai cara ia lakukan untuk meyakinkan si perempuan. bertahun lamanya ia berusaha, sebelum akhirnya si perempuan mengiyakan. kini sudah lebih 5 tahun berlalu sejak mereka menjadi pasangan. akhir minggu ini acara pertunangan mereka.

bahagia membuncah, sampai tak terasa aku menitikkan air mata. sang lelaki, dengan kegigihannya, selalu berusaha untuk menunjukkan bahwa ia mampu. dan sang perempuan, kawanku yang satu ini, aku kagum. hatinya bersih, jarang ada prasangka hinggap. tutur kata yang lembut, namun santai dan humoris. pintar dan tenang. ditambah lagi paras ayu dan senyum manis. sejak awal pertemananku dengan sang perempuan, aku langsung mengaguminya. semakin aku berteman dekat, aku semakin mengenal dia dan sungguh setulusnya aku berharap dia akan menemukan lelaki yang sama baiknya.

seperti dongeng, ya? tapi memang bahagia. hujan malam ini turun sebagai luapan bahagia, sepertinya. 

my best prayer goes to you both, may you live happily ever after, dear friends :)

a happy place

some people say, happiness is a state of mind. 

in order that you can feel happy, do the things that make you happy.

for me, cooking-and-baking is one of my happy places.

whenever i feel like needing a time-out. i will cook or bake. 

in fact, i dream of opening a cafe or cake shop of my own someday. 

and that's me, with a box of my home-made rainbow and red velvet cupcakes :D

what makes you happy? :)

i miss you, hey dear old-self.

blog ini memang kutujukan seperti sebuah buku harian. di mana aku bisa bebas bercerita tentang semua yang berkecamuk di benakku. tentang segala hal yang kuanggap menarik. segala hal yang kurasa dapat membuat beban perasaanku menjadi lebih ringan. (hampir) semua hal kuceritakan. tingkah polah saudara kecilku, gelak tawa bersama teman-temanku, sampai kisah patah hatiku, semua kutuangkan dalam cerita di blog ini.

sampai pada akhirnya aku membiarkan diriku untuk tidak menulis selama hampir 2 tahun, membuat blog ini terbengkalai dan bahkan terkadang aku jengah membaca tulisanku sebelumnya. bagaimana aku dahulu adalah orang yang gemar bercerita tentang segala. 

melihat diriku sekarang, aku menjadi seseorang yang enggan bercerita. dulu, apabila seorang teman berbincang, saya dengan lancarnya menuturkan berbagai macam cerita, membuat lelucon dan lain sebagainya. kini, jika seorang teman bertanya kabarku, maka aku hanya mengeluarkan jawaban singkat, 'ah gitu-gitu aja, kok.. nothing much changes..'

while in fact, things changed, a lot.

i honestly miss my old self. 

hello (again)

*cleaning up the dust on my blog*

does anyone still read this? i wonder.

well, my bad. i've been abandoning this blog for almost 2 years. and yes, as you predicted, i have lots of excuses. but mainly, i overthink about what people would say about my writings. some things happened in the past held me back from writing what i was really feeling. i kind of hated myself back then for not being able to be honest about what i feel. but now i made amend with myself, that from now on i will try to write as honest as i can.

here's some update:

- i am now no longer a college student! i finally succeeded to defend my undergraduate thesis after the first failed attempt (more on that later). the graduation ceremony will be held in 2 weeks. i get a mixed up feeling about this. hm, i feel relieved, of course. after 1.5 years of ups and downs spent to finish my undergraduate thesis, at last i graduate! then reality hits hard! i have to look for a job, make a living (although i still live with my parents). can i make it through?
- relationship-wise, hmm, i am still single. had some crushes but then it just didn't happen. and currently seeing no one (!). looking for a serious yet fun relationship now (who am i kidding? it's like i'm writing for a matchmaker haha)

at first i thought i had a lot to update, but i guess that's all~

see you in my next post! :)

just stop.

see, i don't want to wonder anymore about what you're thinking, what you're doing, or who you're doing it with. you were right, i need to move on. but i don't know if i can, unless you just stop.

stop what? i'm sorry i called. i'm sorry i keep talking to you. i'm trying to get better. what else can i do?

why don't you just stop. stop making me so crazy!

stop being so paranoid!

stop telling me what to do!

stop wasting your life on stupid things!

stop making me want your approval!

stop always being there when i need you..

(Cappie and Casey, Greek TV Series)

may be we both need to stop.

i want these.

on my 21st birthday:

i want oreo cheesecake. i want cookies and cream flavored ice cream. i want ibu's nasi ayam semarang. i want family to gather up. i want my granma to stay healthy. i want my friends will stay for a lifetime. i want to lose 10kgs. i want to stay close with My Almighty God. i want to have a better immune system. i want to be better. i want to graduate this term. i want to be able to be always grateful for all i have now.

back again.

hey, meet me again. after almost half-a-year abandoning this blog, i am back again.

why coming back?
after having so many thoughts, i find that writing, even it's hard to do, still do good to me. i read my old posts and i realized, of how i was so true. i admitted what i felt, and put that down on writings, instead of keeping it to myself like i do lately.

nice to see you again,
my wonderful and tralala world :)

bold it!

You like showers better than bubble baths.
You cannot stand pop music.
You have a sister.
You are an only child.
You have black hair.
You have blonde hair.
You have red hair.
You have glasses.
You wear contacts.
You like TV more than movies.
You don’t talk on the phone often.
You like to shop.
You like emo music.
You are tall.
You are short.
You are average height.
You have long hair.
You have medium length hair.
You have short hair.
You use AIM.
You use Yahoo IM.
You have more than 3 pets.
You like sushi.
You love sushi.
You are on a diet.
You are currently on the second floor of your house.
You have a small room.
You are in high school.
You have 1 little brother.
You have an older brother.
You are allergic to something.
You have a boyfriend/girlfriend.
You have a current crush.
You have many crushes.
You have been kissed.
You have kissed another girl.
You laugh a lot.
You have lots of friends.
You are lonely.
You are depressed.
You are listening to music.
You are doing homework.
You have school tomorrow.
You are sick.
You hate your teacher.
You think your teacher is OK.
There is drama in your school, constantly.
You are wearing sweat pants.
You are wearing socks.
You are wearing a T-shirt.
You have lost a loved one.
You hate your school.
You loved your school.
You have been picked on.
You have been yelled at.
You have gotten in a fight.
You have said a bad word.
You shop at Abercrombie and Fitch.
You play basketball.
You play softball.
You play baseball.
You play soccer.
You play football.
You hate sports.
You get manicures.
You shop at Pac Sun.
You go to the mall a lot.
You are close with your family.
You never fight with your parents.
You have been grounded.
You have driven a car.
You are listening to your iPod.
You are watching TV.
You are watching a movie.
You are listening to the radio.
You are singing.
You are happy.
You are sad.
You are blah.
You are anxious.
You are about to go somewhere.
You haven’t been out of your house for over 3 days.
Someone besides you is in the same room with you.
You love your natural hair.
You hate your eye color.
You wish you were never been born.
You write your own songs.
You write books.
You hate to write.
You hate your hometown.
You love your hometown.
You are smart.
You are average.
You are dumb.
You get good grades.
You enjoy having people at your house.
You love going to the movies with a lot of people.
You like to go bowling with your friends.
You have ice-skated before.
You like popsicles.
You think Vanilla is better than Chocolate.

Andien

Lahir dari keluarga yang lumayan besar (ibu adalah anak ke-2 dari 8 bersaudara dan bapak adalah anak ke-5 dari 6 bersaudara), membuat gue jadi punya banyak sepupu. Itu suatu hal yang sangat menyenangkan buat gue.

Tanpa bermaksud pilih kasih, gue sedang pengen nyeritain tentang salah satu sepupu gue, dari pihak ibu.

Namanya Andien.

Dia umurnya baru 6 tahun, tapi kalo diliat dari ukuran tubuhnya dia kayak baru 4 tahun. Mungiiiiiiiil sekali. Selalu bikin gue gemes mau mempermainkan dia tiap kali ketemu. Haha. Dia ini orangnya suka ceplas-ceplos polos yang bikin orang di sekitarnya ketawa geli ngeliat tingkahnya.

Yang mau gue ceritain di sini adalah potongan-potongan celotehannya dia yang selalu bikin gue cengengesan tiap ingat itu. Hihihihi.

cerita 1.

Ini cerita waktu dia baru masuk TK, Andien ini orangnya cadel. jadi tentu aja dia sering salah pengucapan kata.

"Ma, aku nggak mau temenan sama Wawa lagi. Abisnya dia sombong."
"Sombong kenapa emangnya?"
"Abis aku panggil-panggil dia nggak mau nengok.."

Karena penasaran, si Mama alias tante gue, pergi ke TKnya si Andien ini. dan sangat geli menemukan bahwa ternyata Wawa si sombong itu ternyata namanya adalah Rara.

"Jelas aja, Ndien, dia nggak mau nengok pas kamu panggil. Lah namanya Rara kamu manggilnya Wawa.."



cerita 2

Ini cerita baru-baru aja, waktu minggu pertama dia jadi murid SD. Badannya dia kan mungiiil banget, jadi seragamnya kegedean, bahkan celana olahraganya bisa ditarik sampe dada. Hahaha.

Andien ini punya kakak kelas 2 SMP dan 4 SD, yang sering menghujani si adik ini dengan serunya cerita masa SD. Maka gue tanyalah pengalaman seminggu pertamanya di SD.

"Adek Andien, gimana sekolah SD kelas satu? Enak nggak?"
"Nggak enak. Aku nggak suka."
"Lho kenapa gitu?"
"Aku lebih suka kelas miting."

Dan disaat dia jawab itu, meledaklah ketawa sekeluarga besar gue pas denger dia bilang gitu. Karena dia sering mendengar kakak-kakaknya cerita tentang betapa serunya kalo di sekolah lagi ada class meeting. Padahal dia juga nggak tau apa itu kelas miting. Hahahaha.


Dasar Adek Andien. Happy early birthday, ya dek. Semoga kamu cepat besar. Hihi.

left or right?

You Are Right Brained In Love

Bit of a drama queen Peacemaker, first to end a fight Good at thinking up creative dates Tend to fall in love and get hurt easily Going with your gut instead of your head Empathetic and caring, sometimes to a fault Good at recognizing patterns in relationships Been in love many times, perhaps too many to count Wildly passionate and intense when falling in love Spontaneous with relationships, going with the flow Overly visual - can play back past dates like movies in your mind Roses, love poems, and stuffed animals are a good start to win your heart

Are You a Right Brained or Left Brained Woman in Love?

okay. now compare it with this.

You Are 45% Left Brained, 55% Right Brained

The left side of your brain controls verbal ability, attention to detail, and reasoning. Left brained people are good at communication and persuading others. If you're left brained, you are likely good at math and logic. Your left brain prefers dogs, reading, and quiet. The right side of your brain is all about creativity and flexibility. Daring and intuitive, right brained people see the world in their unique way. If you're right brained, you likely have a talent for creative writing and art. Your right brain prefers day dreaming, philosophy, and sports.

Are You Right or Left Brained?

new page

menganalogikan menjalani hidup sama seperti membuat tulisan. yang kalo buat gue, kadang susah kadang gampang. kadang hasilnya memuaskan, kadang biasa aja dan nggak jarang mengecewakan. terkadang suka stuck, dan juga bisa lancar..

tiap tulisan, seperti menggambarkan taip-tiap bagian dalam hidup, di mana kadang ada ceria, ada sedih, ada marah, ada kesal, ada berbunga-bunga, ada patah hati dan lain-lain.

ada juga suatu tulisan yang udah terlalu panjang, yang jadi kisah nggak berujung. yang sebenernya, tulisan itu nggak ada bagusnya juga kalo diterusin. karena mungkin, kalo nggak diterusin, tulisan itu bakal jadi lebih bagus.

dan selain itu, pasti ada saat-saat di mana harus ada tulisan baru. memulai sesuatu dari awal lagi, dari nol. dari lembaran polos. tapi gimana dengan tulisan-tulisan yang lama? dibuang? nggak mungkin lah, sayang.. lagian, kita belajar dari masa lalu. dari keberhasilan maupun kegagalan yang udah pernah kita perbuat..

dan kadang nggak ada keberanian, untuk mulai dari awal lagi. ada aja takutnya. takut tulisan itu nggak selesai, takut tulisan yang baru nggak lebih baik. takut. padahal, tulisan yang lama emang harus ditinggalin. karena nggak berujung.

lagian, kalo nggak dicoba, kita nggak bisa tau kan?
:)



wiydiy,
opening new page of her life.

fictional character

well, it may look so stupid and pathetic, but i guess now i am going to make him just a fictional character. hahahahahaha.


the picture is taken from: wiki's lessons

menulis ituuuu..., susah.

ih. blog gue terlantar banget sih. kasian. kemalasan dan ketidakmampuan gue mengatur waktu dengan baik bikin gue selalu mencar-cari alasan untuk tidak ngeblog. payah. banget.

padahal banyak temen gue yang sama sibuknya, bahkan lebih sibuk, tapi masih bisa aja gitu produktif nulis. bukan cuma di blog, bahkan ampe dimuat di koran nasional. sungguh mengagumkan mereka itu. sedangkan gue, nulis di blog kayak gini aja masiiii aja suka stuck nggak jelas. apalagi mau bikin tulisan yang dimuat di koran nasional..

dan ketidakmampuan gue untuk membuat suatu tulisan yang bagus ini terasa sangat memberatkan di dunia akademis ini, karena program studi gue sangat sangat demanding terhadap suatu karya tulis. dan semakin tinggi tingkat lo, maka semakin banyak tugas kuliah berbentuk karya tulis yang mesti lo kerjain. dan buat gue, itu sangat sangat sangatlah sulit.

karena yang ada gue ngerjain berdekatan dengan deadline, sehingga struktur tulisan gue pun nggak rapih. analisanya nggak tajam seperti yang mestinya dilakukan akademisi. intinya satu, payah.

dan sepertinya gue harus banyak belajar sama teman-teman dan senior dan mereka yang jago menulis. fufufu.
semangatttt!

..and that's okay.

and it's okay..,
if you had to go away
oh, just remember the telephones
well they work in both ways
but if i never ever hear them ring,
if nothing else,
i'll think the bells inside
have finally found you someone else
..and that's okay
cause i'll remember everything you sang

jason mraz - you and i both

well, i guess you found someone else.
and that's okay..

=)

*bittersmile. hw..